Why can't things ever be simple?
Falling in love can be classed among these "things" that never are simple. A simple thing is the first brushstroke to the canvas - then it becomes complex...
After that initial brushstroke - that's when the form & color explode.
...and as compared to life, the intricacies erupt - in vivid flowing connected timelines - beating a path towards the ultimate finale.
Leonardo da Vinci once said, "Art is never finished, only abandoned." Now it seems I know what he means - and so it is with Life & Love.
Please, clue me in...
I saw Fucker for Thanksgiving. He invited me to his house for the feast with his family. It was a great time, and I thank him from the bottom of my heart. We've remained close friends through all this. He knows my story - without the latest twisting developments.
Last night was the topper...
Now it's time to follow my Heart.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Why can't things ever be simple?
Saturday, November 15, 2008
...at least that's what the tea leaves read.
...and yes, I'm still working on it - it's always a work in progress.
An hour and a half massage to a twisted nerve in the neck and shoulder can reveal a few things about someone's desires - and what a hunky bantam bastard he is! He does remind me of a rooster - all puffed up and tuff like he tries to come off - but with me - he shows his tender side. I stroke his long gorgeous hair to the front of his furry chest and explore his muscular and compact shoulders, rubbing that spot that makes him groan with relief in that gruff-sexy voice. The whole damn ritual of it turns me on wildly as I cajole my throbber on his back ever so lightly - and he likes it as much as I do... It just seems that I always get myself into these situations, and I don't know how or why that happens.
I often wonder why these guys like me - enough to trust me with their true feelings. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining - I quite enjoy every second of this sport. "Straight" tough guys, questioning their views on sex with another guy - it can be very rewarding or even dangerous - and I'm still hoping that it will be the former for us.
He's the great outdoorsy type. He wants me to go camping with him. I half-joke and say we'll only need one sleeping bag because it's so cold. He nods in agreement...
I know I could take him to all those wonderful places that he's never been before - if he'd only let me.
Trust is earned...
Time will tell - I'm a patient man.
I will follow it as surely as
the land-locked salmon finds the sea."
Saturday, November 08, 2008
I still can feel it - after a year.
That passion - the ecstasy - and yes, the pain that comes along after the fast and furious ride. Longing to be in your arms again. Holding you tight.
I will always love you. Nothing reserved from this side.
Full out and blazing hot - the way it should be.
It would be amazing to see you again.
Bring me back to life Fucker...
I pray that one day it can be... Perhaps tonight.
Until then I'll be "The Actor".
Con todo mi cariño.
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Being of Celtic origin, this is the spiritual time of year for me - that time when I take a few moments to reflect and "regroup" my way of doing things or even how I think about things. It's usually an uplifting experience for me.
I hope everyone had a great Hallowe'en - I had a visit from a Benevolent Spirit yesterday, at a time when I was feeling lost and helpless... It was a moment of self-realization for me - and I thank the Spirits that watch out for me.
PEACE & LOVE