Sunday, December 21, 2008


Winter Solstice Today... [:::]

It doesn't feel much like the holidays for me this year. It hasn't for a few...

The lawyer appointment is set for tomorrow morning, and I've not been sleeping very well at all.

It's snowing like a bastard now - so no work today. Thank gawd I'm even alive - after that drunken ride on the icy roads last night. The mountain pass was just horrible. A few trees got a little too close to the old tank... Surprisingly we didn't end up in a fucking snow ditch or down an embankment. I should have just tackled him and taken the fucking keys. That Fucker.

I met a few good people at the watering hole anyway - we played baseball darts. It was a nice diversion while waiting for the D-Man to get back to the bar, so I could throw his drunken ass into the car and take the detour back to this place that I used to call home - or 'Hell Hole' as we now know it.

Not much to look forward to... but then again, what else is new?

Monday, December 08, 2008

Whirling Dervish Dreams

JR won't talk to me. Fine & Dandy.
He's pissed off because I can't see him tonight. I don't need any more drama in my life. There's too much happening all at once.

Just made an appointment with the lawyer for Dec 22 - just in time for the Holidaze - Bah-Humbug. The "X" will probably be pissed off at me also, as he wanted this settled by Friday. Too Bad. I refuse to be rushed into anything that may jeopardize my future without knowing all my rights.

They have been very abrasive towards me - removing internet access and many of my personal effects to gawd knows where - which they have no right to do.

I Will Not Play These Games...

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Saturday Night Was Allright

It snowed...

I stayed on the mountain last night - slept in the big bed alone.

3:30 AM Thomas calls and wakes me to tell me how excited he is, as the date draws near for him to bring his new love here from Africa... I'm happy for him - wishing it all turns out like a romantic fairy tale.

I hate to cut the conversation short as I tell him I must be at work at 8:00 AM - and we talk for 45 minutes more...

Journey blasts from the boom box as I cook omelettes & home fries - then JR calls, and the world almost seems right once again...

...but not for long.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

No Compass

Feeling lost, alone I try to find the path again - no markers to behold - nothing to connect with to find the way.

If only I had listened to her...
She said it would be difficult.
I agreed in theory, but let it slip past comprehension, thinking I could handle whatever life happened to throw my way.

Never expected the boomerang...

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