Sunday, December 21, 2008


Winter Solstice Today... [:::]

It doesn't feel much like the holidays for me this year. It hasn't for a few...

The lawyer appointment is set for tomorrow morning, and I've not been sleeping very well at all.

It's snowing like a bastard now - so no work today. Thank gawd I'm even alive - after that drunken ride on the icy roads last night. The mountain pass was just horrible. A few trees got a little too close to the old tank... Surprisingly we didn't end up in a fucking snow ditch or down an embankment. I should have just tackled him and taken the fucking keys. That Fucker.

I met a few good people at the watering hole anyway - we played baseball darts. It was a nice diversion while waiting for the D-Man to get back to the bar, so I could throw his drunken ass into the car and take the detour back to this place that I used to call home - or 'Hell Hole' as we now know it.

Not much to look forward to... but then again, what else is new?

Monday, December 08, 2008

Whirling Dervish Dreams

JR won't talk to me. Fine & Dandy.
He's pissed off because I can't see him tonight. I don't need any more drama in my life. There's too much happening all at once.

Just made an appointment with the lawyer for Dec 22 - just in time for the Holidaze - Bah-Humbug. The "X" will probably be pissed off at me also, as he wanted this settled by Friday. Too Bad. I refuse to be rushed into anything that may jeopardize my future without knowing all my rights.

They have been very abrasive towards me - removing internet access and many of my personal effects to gawd knows where - which they have no right to do.

I Will Not Play These Games...

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Saturday Night Was Allright

It snowed...

I stayed on the mountain last night - slept in the big bed alone.

3:30 AM Thomas calls and wakes me to tell me how excited he is, as the date draws near for him to bring his new love here from Africa... I'm happy for him - wishing it all turns out like a romantic fairy tale.

I hate to cut the conversation short as I tell him I must be at work at 8:00 AM - and we talk for 45 minutes more...

Journey blasts from the boom box as I cook omelettes & home fries - then JR calls, and the world almost seems right once again...

...but not for long.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

No Compass

Feeling lost, alone I try to find the path again - no markers to behold - nothing to connect with to find the way.

If only I had listened to her...
She said it would be difficult.
I agreed in theory, but let it slip past comprehension, thinking I could handle whatever life happened to throw my way.

Never expected the boomerang...

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Morning Ecstasy

Why can't things ever be simple?

Falling in love can be classed among these "things" that never are simple. A simple thing is the first brushstroke to the canvas - then it becomes complex...

After that initial brushstroke - that's when the form & color explode.

...and as compared to life, the intricacies erupt - in vivid flowing connected timelines - beating a path towards the ultimate finale.

Leonardo da Vinci once said, "Art is never finished, only abandoned." Now it seems I know what he means - and so it is with Life & Love.

Please, clue me in...

I saw Fucker for Thanksgiving. He invited me to his house for the feast with his family. It was a great time, and I thank him from the bottom of my heart. We've remained close friends through all this. He knows my story - without the latest twisting developments.

Last night was the topper...

Now it's time to follow my Heart.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

The Power Of Love Is Infinite least that's what the tea leaves read.
...and yes, I'm still working on it - it's always a work in progress.

An hour and a half massage to a twisted nerve in the neck and shoulder can reveal a few things about someone's desires - and what a hunky bantam bastard he is! He does remind me of a rooster - all puffed up and tuff like he tries to come off - but with me - he shows his tender side. I stroke his long gorgeous hair to the front of his furry chest and explore his muscular and compact shoulders, rubbing that spot that makes him groan with relief in that gruff-sexy voice. The whole damn ritual of it turns me on wildly as I cajole my throbber on his back ever so lightly - and he likes it as much as I do... It just seems that I always get myself into these situations, and I don't know how or why that happens.

I often wonder why these guys like me - enough to trust me with their true feelings. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining - I quite enjoy every second of this sport. "Straight" tough guys, questioning their views on sex with another guy - it can be very rewarding or even dangerous - and I'm still hoping that it will be the former for us.

He's the great outdoorsy type. He wants me to go camping with him. I half-joke and say we'll only need one sleeping bag because it's so cold. He nods in agreement...

I know I could take him to all those wonderful places that he's never been before - if he'd only let me.

Trust is earned...
Time will tell - I'm a patient man.

"Wherever Love is, I want to be.
I will follow it as surely as
the land-locked salmon finds the sea."

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Singled Out

I still can feel it - after a year.
That passion - the ecstasy - and yes, the pain that comes along after the fast and furious ride. Longing to be in your arms again. Holding you tight.

I will always love you. Nothing reserved from this side.
Full out and blazing hot - the way it should be.

It would be amazing to see you again.
Bring me back to life Fucker...
I pray that one day it can be... Perhaps tonight.

Until then I'll be "The Actor".

Con todo mi cariño.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Happy New Year - Atonement

Being of Celtic origin, this is the spiritual time of year for me - that time when I take a few moments to reflect and "regroup" my way of doing things or even how I think about things. It's usually an uplifting experience for me.

I hope everyone had a great Hallowe'en - I had a visit from a Benevolent Spirit yesterday, at a time when I was feeling lost and helpless... It was a moment of self-realization for me - and I thank the Spirits that watch out for me.


Friday, October 31, 2008

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Monday, October 27, 2008

Bro-Spo's Hallowe'en Meme # 2...


Are you scared of bats?

I used to call them when I was a kid to scare the girls... I make a kind of high pitched whistle with my lips that they seem to want to investigate.

When you were a kid, did you go out on Mischief Night?

Yes, but we never lit a bag of shit on the porch and rang the doorbell...

We would go "tick-tacking" (throwing corn at people's windows).

What is your favorite trick-or-treat candy?

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

Have you ever seen a ghost?

Yes. Mischief ensued...

The most memorable costume you ever wore?

King Tut (1977) ...I won first prize at the disco for that one... I completely handmade the outfit myself... and the make-up was simply fabulous...

Do you carve a happy or a scary face on the pumpkin?

Scary, of course...

Will anyone wear a costume to work on October 31st?

I'll be bringing mine along to change into at the appropriate time...

Any cooking or baking you do for Hallowe’en?

pumpkin cheesecake and butternut squash soup...

Have you ever been to The Haunted Mansion at Disneyland or


No. Haven't been there since 1985.

Any element of the season you don’t like?

People who want to change the "history" of the holiday...

What is your favorite scary movie?

I have to say there is a tie for that spot:

"Return of the Living Dead" for the kicks and music ...and
"Black Sabbath" (which scared the living daylights out of me when I was a youngster)...

Then of course there are all of those Vincent Price, Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi flicks... I still love them.

Do you cook the pumpkin seeds from your carved jack-o-lanterns?

I used to... maybe I will this year (if I get the time to carve one).

Are you intrigued with vampires?

Yes, absolutely. So sexy... Still into the Goth thing after all these years. I've still got a thing for Tim Curry in "Rocky Horror Picture Show".

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Under Pressure

So now they're trying to push me out of my own house...

"Sign the paper."

I don't deal well with this type of pressure.
They say I'm holding up "progress". Progress for their relationship. I say, I've got a lot invested in this place. It was my future... They stole it from me.

...and on such short notice, I've got to have some time to plan what's ahead for me. Of course, they don't see it that way.

I'll go when I'm ready.
They can all kiss my ass...

Tuesday, September 23, 2008


I was asked to write a bit about myself for the restaurant.
Here's what I came up with...

Having been involved in the restaurant industry for over 35 years, I've seen many changes come down the pike. Cooking has always been an essential part of my life since I can remember.

Appreciating the diversity of lifestyles and respecting the life experiences of individuals has also long been a determining factor in the creative process involved in my personal style of cooking.

Free-spirited and open-minded, my personal philosophy could probably best be defined as someone once observed, as being something like 'Beethovan mixed with a dose of Biker' - on a search for that perfect union of tastes with the freedom to experiment along the way - amalgamating something new and unique in a world that is fast becoming immutable.

Bon Appetit.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

A View From The Kitchen

Looking past the pool... I love being up here on the mountain.

Haven't been posting much lately because I've been trying to get things in order at work. It really is a big responsibility, but I needed to get my mind off my own troubles.

Dwelling on past failures never makes for a bright future. Simply learn from the mistakes and move on.

It's a new dawn.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Surprise, Surprise...

I got the job!!!

They loved the proposal... and that dinner.

What a shock!
Sister Sorrow was right. Thanks Sis.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Little Changes: Life Goes On

I've always been notoriously bad at tests...

As I went out to my truck to leave for an audition yesterday, I ran across a dead hawk at the driver's door. I didn't know what to make of this as a premonition - but it kind of unnerved me. I tried to spin it in a positive way, but the more I thought about it - the more it seemed like a serious presage to failure. I put a quart of oil in the old truck and took off over the mountain trying not to think about it...

I was a bit early, so I walked around the next mountain a bit, trying to calm down. It was a beautiful day, I thought - things will be alright. I was pretty anxious to get started.

I was to cook a meal for four. One stipulation being not to cook pork. The amuse-bouche I made was shrimp toast with shredded ham and feta - what an ass! Oh well... I never even thought about it until an hour after I had left the premises. Perhaps if I hadn't been preoccupied...

Dinner consisted of chicken and shrimp in vodka infused marinara cream tossed with overcooked penne - and two perfectly seared strip steaks rubbed with my infamous "brokeback mountain" seasoning (coffee, brown sugar & Kosher salt). The sauce I made for the steaks was supposed to have whiskey, but I was rushed for time and couldn't prepare it properly. The new potatoes I made for the steaks were nearly burned, but I like them with a crunchy crust...

I also prepared a proposal for a fall menu which I gave the waitress - for the table to look at - and got no feedback from it. I was dismissed with the statement that I would hear the outcome on Wednesday...

I suppose I failed miserably - I'll know tomorrow for sure - but if things go the way I feel they did - there's no need to wait until tomorrow to know the outcome.

When I got home, that hawk was still there, so I quietly disposed of the poor creature so the kids wouldn't get to it. I felt pretty badly about the whole misadventure.

This was the job that I really wanted to procure. It would have been a great thing for me - and maybe I'm giving up too soon, but I think I know how to read it... I'm feeling pretty low right about now.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Midweek Quote:

"A human being should be able to
change a diaper,
plan an invasion,
butcher a hog,
conn a ship,
design a building,
write a sonnet,
balance accounts,
build a wall,
set a bone,
comfort the dying,
take orders,
give orders,
act alone,
solve equations,
analyze a new problem,
pitch manure,
program a computer,
cook a tasty meal,
fight efficiently,
die gallantly.

Specialization is for insects."

- Robert A. Heinlein

Monday, August 18, 2008

Pride GLV 2008: a personal note

I had the best time at Pride yesterday. I went with Butch & Woofer (of course).

Woofer fucking rocks. He wanted to make sure I was having a great time - so he kept trying to introduce me to people. I do fine on my own, usually... but he went out of his way to make sure I was "covered". I appreciate that so much. He's turned out to be an awesome friend.

We did have a run-in with the local religious kooks when we were leaving the actual Pride celebration, but Woofer handled that situation with grace and style. When the evangelical asshole told me I was going to burn in hell, I told him that I would see him there. He didn't cotton to that remark very well. The "silent witnesses" came to our rescue and escorted us out - shielding us from the religious idiots that were trying to prey on people leaving the Pride celebration.

Later, at the bar:
One of the people Woofer introduced me to was a young (27 year old) microbiologist. I actually told the kid that I had a Son older than him - but that seemed to make him more excited... This kid was pierced & gorgeous. He was falling all over me for some reason. (I guess he thought I was cool) He and his boyfriend were on the outs for about 3 months, and I had to reassure him that I thought he was beautiful. That was no problem at all, because he was. He kept rubbing all over me, and at this point - I was ready for action.

Of course, nothing really happened - but it felt so good to be wanted for a while. Finally his boyfriend Eddie came over, and I made it clear to Eddie that he should be grateful for what he had in - oh, let's call him Spanky.

Spanky just had a glow about him that was so refreshing to an old fart like me... so full of enthusiasm that it was bursting out all over. Finally, after about an hour of conversation that spanned the entire spectrum of modern gay history, they left together hand in hand and Spanky looked back at me and gave me a wink and a smile that made me feel like I had a purpose. It was a great feeling.

Woofer kidnapped me for a few dances throughout the evening - and we had a great time. He's a really good dancer, and I kept up with him just doing the "gay boogie"... I used to be famous for that back in the early 80s at Partner's Cafe when I'd spend practically the whole evening out on the dance floor. (I only lived a block away, on Edgewood Avenue... Right across the street from Yale University)

Those were the days. But these days are good now also...

Gotta go now - my Son just brought me over some shrimp scampi and linguini with a garden fresh salad for supper. MMM it's delicious....
It's so much better to be alive than dead.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Out Damn Spot...

I'm so glad that's out of my system... Now I can start CLEAN.

There's nothing like a clean slate - chalk is cheap...

Right Einstein?

(click the title of this post to make your own message)

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Emotional Maturity At It's Finest

That's Right, Hit Where It Hurts.

Some people just have no compassion. That's how they run.
Cold Cold Cold. I'm glad I'm not like that. I don't think I could live with myself.

Attack someone when he's down and out. That's the perfect time to strike with the venom. Vitriolic vomit spewing forth from your self-righteous poisonous pouting piehole. That's what I need right now. Right in the midst of waiting for test results from potentially life changing doctor & hospital visits.

Your little plan is working wonderfully well. Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel - you're ten feet underneath it.

How considerate.

I hope you feel better now. I know I feel like shit.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Sex & Religion...

Inquiring minds want to know - How often have you said, "Oh God!" during the sex act?

I know, in later times I've often translated that phrase into "Oh Fuck!" and really meant it.

God and Fuck - in the same sentence has always turned me on...

Friday, August 08, 2008


My friend Jay will be substituting for me today at the show. I'd like to thank him for stepping in and playing some great music.

Jay has his own regular show "The Shelter" on Tuesdays from 12 noon - 3 pm. I saw him last night at the Jethro Tull concert with his Grandson, and last week he drove me to see Gov't Mule - so you know he'll be spinning some great music for you today. Please show him some support. I know he'll be playing some Tull for your listening pleasure. I'm also sure he has some other great tunes up his sleeve to share.


Request Line: (610) 758 - 3913
AOL instant messenger: WLVR913FM

Thanks Jay.
Spread The Love

Now, here's a pic I snapped from my cell phone last evening of the stage at Musikfest just before the show... It was actually a double rainbow, but you can't really see it from this picture.

Jimi The Hippie

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Where's The Answer?

We still have this part to play
It seems like nothing's new,
But things are fresh in next day's dawn
All's different in morning dew.

Dark in the Light - logically mad
With chaotic order and success
Putting one foot forward then another
Never knowing Time arrives

'Til aproach upon the whim of it.
Often on again - then a pause
To smell a rose or graveyard must
Opting out, the choice not ours.

So hold them dear - until it's clear
No longer near - we feel the fear
Of onliness and loneliness
They are no longer here.

There Is Nothing Like A Gov't Mule Concert brighten your spirit. My latest take-off on the famous Grateful Dead slogan. ;o)

Penn's Peak is an awesome venue, if you ever get the chance to attend an event there - don't miss it! Especially if the band involved is Gov't Mule.

Yesterday, as it turned out was Jerry Garcia's Birthday - and I could think of no better way than to go out and celebrate his life at an awesome concert. Of course I hadn't planned this. I was the proud recipient of a "miracle ticket" and then had the privilege of meeting the band backstage after the concert - Thanks to A.J., Jay and Rich. I don't think that anyone can truly understand what all this has done for me. I actually feel like a real human being again.

As I was writing the playlist from yesterday's show, I got a call about going to the concert that evening. (it was sold out - and I had no ticket). Jay and A.J. took care of all that for me - and even provided me with a means of transportation to and from the venue. I love these guys... It seems I do have a few friends left after all... They look out for me and genuinely care about my well-being. Friends like these guys are a precious commodity.

I cried like a baby when "The Mule" played a few Garcia classics last night:
"Deal > Terrapin > Loser"
...and with their version of "Dear Prudence" (The Beatles)
which was also a staple of the Jerry Garcia Band - the deal was sealed.

The parking lot scene was a bit like a mini-Grateful Dead Concert, and brought all these old memories flooding back from days gone by - and it made me realize just how much I actually loved this type of scene. I felt like I was home again after too long of an absence.

Warren, Matt, Danny and Andy...
Thanks for the best time.
Rock On Forever.

Friday, August 01, 2008


I guess you have to hit the bottom of the fucking barrel every once in a while to really appreciate this wondrous life. You just can't let it keep you down. Don't let it overwhelm you for long...

I'm happy to report that things are coming around for this old Hippie. I'm actually crying as I'm writing this post - but they are tears of joy. That doesn't happen very often in my life - but it's happening right now.

No whining anymore - never thought I was a whiner, but looking back it looks like I came pretty close - just give 'em the old finger... ;o)

Excuse me while I enjoy it, and thank you all for having helped me out of this gloom. I'll get by with a little help from my friends...

इंद्रधनु राक्षस

Thursday, July 31, 2008

i am nothing

i am nothing

i stare at nothing
for it makes no sense
why bother
i am confused

i used to be intelligent and sparkly
now i sleep, dark-eyed and sallow
tired..oh so tired......
sleep is my friend...
it holds me in its arms
and takes away the pain
for awhile.

i am invisible
even in the light
it is dark
for no one sees me
i am an outcast
with a mental illness
to be shunned and feared

no one wants me
i am alone
i am nothing
destined to live a life of drugs
and a broken heart

for i am nothing
and no one wants me
i am alone

in the darkness
in a prison

and the prison has nothing to do
with my home
it is in my mind
where jumbled thoughts and fears reside
afraid to be released

they cannot be seen, though, for i do not exist
i have been erased
and am invisible
to a world that sees but does not see
me and all the others

who view the world
with such angst
our thoughts and feelings
controlled ? with drugs and counsel

i talk to no one
for no one calls
and i do not call them

i am invisible
i do not exist
therefore cannot be reached
by anyone

should i even care
should i?

- Spectrum03

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Heartbroken and Happy

Could it possibly be any more confusing?

Guess I'm a bit more affected than I thought I'd be by the "split"...

I find I'm a bit more emotional than usual. Tears start at the drop of a hat - for no reason sometimes. It's like someone died or something (heaven forbid). After all, I thought we were finally getting back together when I received an e-mail "date" from Butch, and we commenced with some awesome rough sex - probably one of the best sessions of our now defunct relationship, but as it turns out - it was only a goodbye fuck... What a bringdown.

Butch's new BF is awesome, let's call him Woofer. Woofer is a big muscular
black bear and he's always touching and hugging me. I Love it. If I was a bitter queen, I'd steal Woofer away, but since we're both "pitchers"... I don't think that would work out very well. I'm not about to give up my position anytime soon - and I don't think he is either.

We went out to the club the other night and Butch and Woofer got pretty loaded. I ended up driving them home. While they were participating in the Karaoke competition, I stepped out for a breather, and met a guy named Sean who came on strong to me. I explained to him that I was also a 'topper' - so he immediately started pointing out "awesome bottoms" for me to choose from. It seemed we were instant "hunt brothers", and I was glad for the company. After a bit of that, he told me that two of his ex-lovers were in the bar on this particular night. He was upset and a bit inebriated. I listened to the rest of his story, and he wanted to know more about me, so...

I told him that I was there with my ex-lover and his new boyfriend and that it was a brand new relationship, and that we had attended a friend's birthday party earlier in the day, and decided to stop at the club on the way home. Butch and Woofer came out of the club, and I said, "Oh, there they are." and motioned for them to come over to meet Sean. They just walked away holding hands, as Woofer turned and winked at me - so Sean and I talked a few more minutes.

He sensed I was a bit down about it, and wanted to stir up some trouble at that point. I thought I succeeded in calming him down a bit. He went back inside and I continued to stand out by the lake enjoying the moonlight. I went back inside to the upstairs bar where dancing and heavy cruising were in vogue.

I stepped out again later, and I saw Sean with someone in tow. I said goodnight, and the other one started talking to me - asking which one was my ex. When I told him, he went on about how terrible Butch was - and that I should drive away and leave them there. He'd said he knew Butch from the bar and that he'd been with him a few times
before. This blew my mind because I hadn't mentioned my ex's name - but this guy knew it! I thought to myself no wonder Butch never wanted to go there with me before - this was his playground!

I've found that one can learn a lot from a simple night out... Maybe it's time for me to start going out again...

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Substitution Tag Team

I knew I should have taken a break for a while...

Treated myself to something new...

Or gone off on that trip with Fucker for a few weeks - but I decided to go on looking for a job. Still no luck. It would have been too easy to run away from all the responsibilities...

Fucker's gone ramble camping in his new camper, so I won't be seeing him anytime soon. What I will be seeing though, is Butch's new boyfriend, coming out of the bedroom that Butch & I used to share - until last week - I moved down the hall. I feel like last week's garbage.

It's a bit hard, and I can handle it (I think) but it still hurts nonetheless. It's good to see him happy again - and it brings back memories of when we first got together. The worst part is the "exclusiveness". The new guy is pretty fucking gorgeous too. I can see now why Butch wanted to leave me on the sidelines - drop me like a hot potato. I hope he's got what he wants now. We all get along just fine (so far) and it is very interesting to say the least. I hope they won't mind if I bring someone home to stay one night or...

I'm always up for a new adventure. Something's brewing, I can feel it.

I can't say I'm young yet - but I will get over it.
Wish me Luck...

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Fucker's Firs: The Healing Process Begins

There's a post - way down deep inside that's been trying to claw it's way out for the past week. I haven't been able to set it free yet - so maybe I'll try writing 'about' the way I feel about it. People say that in the telling of an importunate episode - it makes one feel better, and I imagine that to be true in most instances. However, I can't imagine "feeling better" at this point...

Late last evening I watched the nearly full moon through the beautiful fir trees at Fucker's House. It gave me an inexplicable feeling that touched my soul - kind of like contentment or the reassuring knowledge that everything was going to be alright.

He was kind enough to take me in and listen to my woeful ballad - and offered me some great advice and solace - what a wonderful friend I've gained from all this. I couldn't imagine anyone hurting this gorgeous man - it seemed unthinkable to me. He's been through the dishonesty and despair of a shattered relationship - and from the way he relays it, seems like it's still a very real and relevant part of his life. I could still see the hurt in his eyes as he told me - years afterward - of the betrayal of trust by his lover.

I did the same... revealing all to him about my life - standing naked before him as he did for me. We held on to each other in the glistening moonlight - two old souls in a sea of new instance - and he made me feel so secure, as I haven't - for too long now. We were a perfect match for the timing...

The disparaging feelings of loss, failing a relationship and insufficiency might be something that not everyone can overcome, but goddam it I'm going to try. I have to get over this. I refuse to let it poison me or what I believe in...

I suppose I knew Butch and I were done a few years back, but reluctant to address the issue, I went on as if there was none. This is wrong. If you should find yourself in a situation like this - fight it with every weapon in the arsenal you can muster up. Don't let it go on unaddressed. Unless you want to face the unscrupulous results.

Instead, I attempted meagerly to throw hints about in order to start a discussion - but they always fell on deaf ears - without result. I should have taken and shaken the truth out of him, demanded that he talk to me - but I've always been of the mind: open to discourse if you feel like engaging me. That doesn't always work - a thing I've learned in hindsight, unfortunately.

Then, of course I tried to hit him with the same force that he dealt me: I went out and found someone like he did. I knew from the start that this could never have worked - it was always Butch that I wanted. Still, I found a kindred soul in Fucker - and one very good friend in the process. I'm thankful and blessed for that.

Seems we always know better after the fact...

"EVERGREEN" - The Black Crowes

A song ease your lonely
Let my words take your hand
Let me kiss your rose pedals for you and golden van
Let me point out the birds that fly only for you
And I will do anything that you want me to

Evergreen, evergreen, prettiest thing I'd ever seen
Come and steer away with me by the moonlight

When playing my garden come and dance in my rain
Come make love in the sunshine
Come lets share our pain
Come fly thru this darkness
To be right by my side
And lets walk right thru the door
Just to see whats inside

Evergreen, evergreen, prettiest thing I'd ever seen
Come and steer away with me by the moonlight

Show me the way
With the words that you say
With the light of love
And the light of your love

Evergreen, evergreen, prettiest thing I'd ever seen
Come and steer away with me by the moonlight

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

You Never Wanted Me

Lyrics | You Never Wanted Me lyrics

I can't find the above song so here's
Another that says what it must... "Farewell, Farewell"

Written by Richard Thompson to the tune of Willie O' Winsbury. The voice is Sandy Denny. From the Fairport's "Liege & Lief" album 1969.


Farewell, farewell to you who would hear
You lonely travellers all
The cold north winds will blow again
The winding road does call.

And you will never return to see
Your bruised and beaten sons
O I would,I would if welcome I were
For they loathe me every one.

And will you never cut the cloth
Or drink the light to be
And can you never swear a year
To anyone but we.

No I will never cut the cloth
Nor drink the light to be
But I'll swear a year to the one who lies
Asleep alongside of me

Monday, July 14, 2008

I Died A Bit Inside Today...

The End - A Beginning... Remember and Forget. Love and be lonely.


THE RISING moon has hid the stars;
Her level rays, like golden bars,
Lie on the landscape green,
With shadows brown between.
And silver white the river gleams,
As if Diana, in her dreams,
Had dropt her silver bow
Upon the meadows low.
On such a tranquil night as this,
She woke Endymion with a kiss,
When, sleeping in the grove,
He dreamed not of her love.
Like Dian's kiss, unasked, unsought,
Love gives itself, but is not bought;
Nor voice, nor sound betrays
Its deep, impassioned gaze.
It comes, - the beautiful, the free,
The crown of all humanity, -
In silence and alone
To seek the elected one.
It lifts the boughs, whose shadows deep
Are Life's oblivion, the soul's sleep,
And kisses the closed eyes
Of him who slumbering lies.
O weary hearts! O slumbering eyes!
O drooping souls, whose destinies
Are fraught with fear and pain,
Ye shall be loved again!
No one is so accursed by fate,
No one so utterly desolate,
But some heart, though unknown,
Responds unto his own.
Responds, - as if with unseen wings,
An angel touched its quivering strings;
And whispers, in its song,
    "Where hast thou stayed so long?"

(Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

Friday, July 11, 2008

At The Station

I didn't get to see the Dalai Lama at work today, but I felt a cool sense of calm throughout the day.
I would have loved to catch a glimpse of him, and had I known - I would have stayed a bit longer. I had to meet my Step Mom for lunch, and that was cool. Maybe I'll see him sometime this weekend.

I usually put a post about the radio show over at =CoffeeHouseStudio=, but I thought I'd try one here today. Here goes...

Another absolutely fabulous morning... but a bit hot this afternoon. Oh well, it is June after all.

I exhibited a great amount of restraint this morning, not mentioning the passing of FISA by our fantasic and illustrious Senate - over the airwaves - in fact I steered clear of any and all things political (except for some tunes) but generally speaking one of the 7 words will slip out when I'm giving a passionate speech - so I decided not to give the speech... smooth sailing.

Hoping to catch a view of the Dalai Lama, I went outside and 'snuck' a cigarette during "Reformation Blues"; a copy of which Adrian Shaw (bass) had sent me (he is an ex-bass player of Hawkwind) from a release (Acid Jam 2000) on his record label: Woronzow Records. I must say thank you again, Ade for all the cool tunes - including your solo CDs and The Bevis Frond CDs.

Also got a phone call at the station about cussing... I didn't, but the listener swears that Grace Slick does on "The Son Of Jesus"... I never heard it, and it's not listed in the lyrics. I know that Gracie uses the fabulous "fuck" word from time to time, and we are careful of what we play on air - so I politely disagreed with the caller.

...and now the List:





(*)"HOMICIDE" - 999


























(*) denotes request / dedication

Jimi The Hippie

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Jimi: Still Releasing... after all these years

The recently discovered Jimi Hendrix XXX tape is finally ready to legally hit the streets.

Execs at porno distrib Vivid Video say the Purple Haze icon's estate has failed to prove the film is a phony.

Vivid offered a $100,000 offer to Jimi's estate, Experience Hendrix LLC, if they could prove within sixty days that the archival sex tape was fake.

"We always knew it was real," Vivid's Steven Hirsch told The New York Daily News.

The film graphically depicts Jimi gettin' down and dirty with recognizable super-groupies Pamela Des Barres and Cynthia Albritton.

Albritton, who had made a plaster casts of Jimi's phallus - as well as other famed rockers 'thangs'- attested to the footage's authenticity.

Oddly enough, Albritton is also getting a cut of the royalties from the DVD despite the fact she doesn't remember experiencing it.

Must have been the mind blowing milieu of the 1960s counter culture drug scene.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Silence Is Golden... Sometimes

It's awfully quiet around these parts lately...

The old man's off to Philadelphia, left yesterday for a go-round of Jury Duty in the Federal Court. Sounds important, doesn't it? I've been getting updates all day. They haven't gotten to him yet. Maybe another overnight in the City of Brotherly Love for him. We only live about 80 miles away from Philadelphia... WTF? I hope they're paying for the gas - and not the usual 8¢ a damn mile.

I know, I know - you're supposed to do your duty in a democratic society... but damn that's a bit far to travel. Last time I was up for Jury Duty - I said it would be financially impossible for me to serve - because it would have been. If I was chosen and had to stay for a case, I probably wouldn't have had a job when I returned to work. I know they aren't allowed to do that - but this is the restaurant business we're talking about here. Lots of shady things go on in the restaurant...

I'm blasting the stereo right now. Mott The Hoople is kranking... Yes, Silence Is Golden - except when it's lonely...

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Food Trivia Quiz...

1) The following all took place during the same year. Can you guess the year?
· Kellogg introduced Pop-Tarts toaster pastries.
· General Mills introduced Lucky Charms cereal.
· The French dairy cooperatives introduced Yoplait Yogurt in France.
· Maxim freeze dried instant coffee is introduced by General Foods.
· The U.S. government defines Bourbon as whiskey with at least 51% corn liquor and aged in new charred-oak barrels.
· Rocky Aoki opens his first Benihana of Tokyo restaurant in New York.
· The first Arby's restaurant is opened.

2) What percentage of the total world fish catch is caught in the northern hemisphere?
a) 10%
b) 30%
c) 60%
d) 90%

3) What connection does Peter Cooper, inventor and founder of the Cooper Union for the Advancement of Science and Art, and Pearl B. Wait cough syrup manufacturer, have to a popular American dessert?

4) Why does peanut butter stick to the roof of your mouth?

5) How many poppy seeds are in a pound?

6) What country has more varieties of crabs than anywhere else in the world?
a) China
b) Japan
c) United States
d) Mexico
e) Norway

7) What herb is used in the production of imitation maple syrup, rum and butterscotch flavors?

...and remember:
"He that lives upon Hope, dies farting."
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) Poor Richard's Almanac

(answers in comments)

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

More News From Nowhere...


"Half the people had turned into squealing pigs,
the other half were cooking
I'll just let it say what it needs to...

Jockohomo has the Lost Beatles Interview up.
Thanks J...

Monday, June 23, 2008

Festive Litha

LITHA (Summer Solstice, June 20-23, dependent on actual astronomical event)

Held on the longest day of the year, the Solstice is the celebration of lights triumph over darkness and that of the bountiful beauty that light brings into life. Flowers are common in the circle, roses and bright cheerful wildflowers are upon the altar and usually worn by all. It is the changing point of the year, and the celebration of the spiral dance of the year is common among Wiccans. It a celebration with much joy, and much feasting. Many Wiccans will attire themselves in bright colours and equally bright adornments of flowers. Usual food fare may include honeycakes or cornbread. Litha is not celebrated by all sects nor in the same way.

We celebrated Midsummer Day (St John's Eve) yesterday at Columcille.

It was a grand occasion with all the stops pulled out. I wish I had brought my camera along - there were so many colorful people there.

First off, let me tell you how hard it is to convince an ex-Priest that he would have a ton of fun at a Pagan Solstice Festival... LOL.

Finally, he went for it and we got there a bit late - just in time to see NNDT.

My favorite performance of the day would be hard to pick...

Delwin played the flute at the top of the mountain. (pictured above left) Man, it sounded incredible. It brought the whole vibe together.

I wish my Son would have been able to come along so he could have seen some of his heritage in action. The Hoop Dance was very involved and totally inspiring and also Drew's Prairie Chicken Dance (pictured on the right). This performance lit the flame of the Solstice for me.

The Lady who narrated (I think her name was Vaughnda) was very keen to present a concise history of the dances and what they represented. It was marvelous.

  • Vicki Doney — Her beautiful voice followed us through the park as we left the circle of stones to explore the wondrous nature of the park at the edge of the Appalachian Trail...
  • Jack McGavin did his two-tone chanting with the shruti box while I meditated - Butch thought I was crazy, but I didn't care. ;o)

The day was magical - especially in the beautiful setting of Columcille. Butch and I wandered off a few times to visit the megalith formations. I thought of Sister Sorrow as I walked the Labyrinth.

I'll make my way back up there again soon and take some pictures...

Happy Jāņi Everyone.

इंद्रधनु राक्षस

Link: Pocono Record Article - Celebrating Summer
**note: If you read the comments in the newspaper article, it will remind you that some people are just never satisfied unless they can feel superior to others.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Current Events

Looking for a new job at my age is really frustrating. Especially at this time of the year when the market is flooded with young people...
Sheesh. Fagedda bout it.

Truck driving is looking more and more attractive. Even though I'll be out and about on the road - away from here (I'm a homebody at heart) I do love to drive. Picking a "company" to drive for is getting to be a job in itself. Soon, I'm just going to close my eyes and let my finger fall on the page - as a way of deciding. That's called being definitive I suppose.

In other news, my nephew decided (rightly) to get back together with his girlfriend and move back to Indiana. we are happy for them.

We nearly lost part of the house on Monday. falling trees, lightning and high wind have a way of reminding us that Mother Nature is a force that sometimes cannot be reckoned with. Our thoughts are with the people in the Midwest at this time.

BU$H has ignored disaster victims once again. The Katrina Debacle has taught his administration absolutely ZILCH. Gallivanting around Europe like a lost little schoolboy on summer vacation - he should be ashamed of himself.

Then when he does return - pushing Congress to legislate for offshore drilling like the mad idiot he is. This is just what the Big Oil Corporations needed as an excuse to push their agenda on the American People and the Planet...

Let's all bet on oil speculations like the big boys do and make billions off the little people (see Enron Loophole) fudging their possible 'futures'...

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Rock's Forever 27 Club... Top Ten

1. Jimi Hendrix: Asphyxiated in his own vomit after an OD on sleeping pills. Ask Eric Burdon what actually happened...

2. Janis Joplin: Heroin overdose, a magical singer, originally with Big Brother and the Holding Company, her version of "Summertime" is an incredible example of her work...

3. Jim Morrison: Listed as dying from heart failure but almost definitely Heroin OD, massively influential, including inspiration for Iggy Pop...

4. Brian Jones: Drowned in his swimming pool under mysterious circumstances; one of the most dangerous characters around if you were his girlfriend, lots of domestic violence and paranoia overshadowed his brilliance as a musician. Predicted the world music scene with his Moroccan experiments...

5. Kurt Cobain: Made into a popular saint after his death from a 'self-inflicted' gun shot wound in 1994. Ironically he expressed a desire to join the 27 club as a young teenager...

6. Robert Johnson: Pneumonia from strychnine poisoning, 1938; the Father of the Blues would never see 30... Inspiration of a great British Blues movement in the 60s and 70s. Such great bands as Led Zeppelin, Fleetwood Mac and Climax Blues...

7. Alan Wilson: Possible suicide, leader of blues outfit Canned Heat...

8. Ron 'Pigpen' McKernan: Alcohol related gastrointestinal hemorrhage, founding member & keyboard / vocalist of the Grateful Dead...

9. Gary Thain: Bassist of Uriah Heep...

10. Peter Ham: Keyboardist and singer from Badfinger, suicide by hanging...

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