Heartbroken and Happy

Could it possibly be any more confusing?

Guess I'm a bit more affected than I thought I'd be by the "split"...

I find I'm a bit more emotional than usual. Tears start at the drop of a hat - for no reason sometimes. It's like someone died or something (heaven forbid). After all, I thought we were finally getting back together when I received an e-mail "date" from Butch, and we commenced with some awesome rough sex - probably one of the best sessions of our now defunct relationship, but as it turns out - it was only a goodbye fuck... What a bringdown.

Butch's new BF is awesome, let's call him Woofer. Woofer is a big muscular black bear and he's always touching and hugging me. I Love it. If I was a bitter queen, I'd steal Woofer away, but since we're both "pitchers"... I don't think that would work out very well. I'm not about to give up my position anytime soon - and I don't think he is either.

We went out to the club the other night and Butch and Woofer got pretty loaded. I ended up driving them home. While they were participating in the Karaoke competition, I stepped out for a breather, and met a guy named Sean who came on strong to me. I explained to him that I was also a 'topper' - so he immediately started pointing out "awesome bottoms" for me to choose from. It seemed we were instant "hunt brothers", and I was glad for the company. After a bit of that, he told me that two of his ex-lovers were in the bar on this particular night. He was upset and a bit inebriated. I listened to the rest of his story, and he wanted to know more about me, so...

I told him that I was there with my ex-lover and his new boyfriend and that it was a brand new relationship, and that we had attended a friend's birthday party earlier in the day, and decided to stop at the club on the way home. Butch and Woofer came out of the club, and I said, "Oh, there they are." and motioned for them to come over to meet Sean. They just walked away holding hands, as Woofer turned and winked at me - so Sean and I talked a few more minutes.

He sensed I was a bit down about it, and wanted to stir up some trouble at that point. I thought I succeeded in calming him down a bit. He went back inside and I continued to stand out by the lake enjoying the moonlight. I went back inside to the upstairs bar where dancing and heavy cruising were in vogue.

I stepped out again later, and I saw Sean with someone in tow. I said goodnight, and the other one started talking to me - asking which one was my ex. When I told him, he went on about how terrible Butch was - and that I should drive away and leave them there. He'd said he knew Butch from the bar and that he'd been with him a few times before. This blew my mind because I hadn't mentioned my ex's name - but this guy knew it! I thought to myself no wonder Butch never wanted to go there with me before - this was his playground!

I've found that one can learn a lot from a simple night out... Maybe it's time for me to start going out again...