Monday, December 03, 2007

Looking Back... A Look Ahead

Had some time to think this weekend.
Reflecting back to another time...
We all lose people we Love... It's part of Life, unfortunately.
Death - the great equalizer - comes to call for us all at some point.

AIDS Day had me remembering some of my loved ones who are no longer here. Always at this time of the year between the holidaze I am bound to remember... After the anger and frustrstion of losing someone close, the acceptance finally wafts in, and we might imagine the 'what-ifs'. I often think about how lost ones might be today if they were still here. A mostly useless exercise, I'm sure - but a way to settle some still unresolved feelings after all this time. It makes me laugh, it makes me cry; but it mostly serves as an acceptance vehicle to deal with the losses. I have lost some beautiful friends & family members over the years to AIDS and other misfortunes, so it does tend to have a bearing on current relationships.

When someone we love commits suicide, for instance - we tend to be more watchful of symptoms we might see in others. Warning signs - so to speak. That could tend to cause problems also. We cannot be responsible for another's actions - only accountable for our own - but still that watchful eye is always there. Being available when you might see a sign of this nature in someone close is the best thing we could probably offer at that crucial time.

...and, as I've also found out over the years, Death is not the only way to lose. Sometimes it can be because of our own stupidity or ignorance of another's needs and feelings. Sometimes we can't foretell that our own actions can alienate and hurt someone else. Someone we may Love or have very deep feelings for. We may have grand intentions, but somehow, sometimes it just may not have been in the cards...

Try to be happy with things as they are. Make your peace. If you can't - attempt to change what you can - but always try to move through your own Life with grace. Do what's right for you, and generally good things will follow.

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