Monday, January 14, 2008

Jigsawed Life

How do you fit into the scheme of things?

For me, always on the outside looking in, I just don't. Never have, probably never will... In High School, I was always that loner kid - spending all my free periods in the Art Room. Never in a clique of friends, I always took pride in that. (of course we moved around a lot, so friends were a luxury I could never afford).

But it's lonely. Even now I still long for acceptance, but I know that will never happen. My views being too far out from most people's accepted norms and mores, I guess... I'd love to find just one person that I could relate to en toto.

The last piece of the puzzle that's missing after all the rest are assembled.
It's a bitch looking for that piece, isn't it?

The above portrait sketch of me was done by William Schmidt, a fellow hitch-hiker I met on the road in 1977. I used to hitch-hike a lot when I was younger. That's mainly how I made friends back in those days. Went one time cross-country to California with two other guys (never made it there - and that's another story... turned back in Cheyenne). Anyway, "Schmitty" & I had gone off the road - down a set of railroad tracks, to set up a camp of sorts for the night (I had the only sleeping bag...) - and I happened (as always) to have my sketch pad with me.

Schmitty kept saying how much he loved to watch my face while I was drawing, so I half kiddingly dared him to draw me. He took me up on the dare and drew me by firelight... scary, isn't it?

I was working on this drawing at the time:

I intentionally blurred the message...
Schmitty & I never saw each other again after that next morning... He went North. I was Southbound.
If only we had cell phones back in those days.


Anonymous said...

"Fitting in" is way overrated, and after 30yo, it is not much worth it.

Seamus Aloysius said...

LOL... Urs, I know.
But just to have that one person that you can look into the eyes of - and know... everything you both are thinking, feeling...

That's what I long for. I guess I'm spoiled - I had that once upon a time...

Thanks for dropping by.


sorrow11 said...

damn google blooger, bleh. spent all this time typing and it ate it!
Can't even remember what i said...I will be back!

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