Monday, January 14, 2008

Jigsawed Life

How do you fit into the scheme of things?

For me, always on the outside looking in, I just don't. Never have, probably never will... In High School, I was always that loner kid - spending all my free periods in the Art Room. Never in a clique of friends, I always took pride in that. (of course we moved around a lot, so friends were a luxury I could never afford).

But it's lonely. Even now I still long for acceptance, but I know that will never happen. My views being too far out from most people's accepted norms and mores, I guess... I'd love to find just one person that I could relate to en toto.

The last piece of the puzzle that's missing after all the rest are assembled.
It's a bitch looking for that piece, isn't it?



The above portrait sketch of me was done by William Schmidt, a fellow hitch-hiker I met on the road in 1977. I used to hitch-hike a lot when I was younger. That's mainly how I made friends back in those days. Went one time cross-country to California with two other guys (never made it there - and that's another story... turned back in Cheyenne). Anyway, "Schmitty" & I had gone off the road - down a set of railroad tracks, to set up a camp of sorts for the night (I had the only sleeping bag...) - and I happened (as always) to have my sketch pad with me.

Schmitty kept saying how much he loved to watch my face while I was drawing, so I half kiddingly dared him to draw me. He took me up on the dare and drew me by firelight... scary, isn't it?

I was working on this drawing at the time:



I intentionally blurred the message...
Schmitty & I never saw each other again after that next morning... He went North. I was Southbound.
If only we had cell phones back in those days.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Fitting in" is way overrated, and after 30yo, it is not much worth it.
Urs,
Urspo.

Seamus Aloysius said...

LOL... Urs, I know.
But just to have that one person that you can look into the eyes of - and know... everything you both are thinking, feeling...

That's what I long for. I guess I'm spoiled - I had that once upon a time...

Thanks for dropping by.

Peace.

sorrow11 said...

damn google blooger, bleh. spent all this time typing and it ate it!
Can't even remember what i said...I will be back!
TWICE!!!!NOW!!!
grrrrrr

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